Here is the situation. My laptop is a dying thing with a fan that sounds like a small aircraft. So everything I do now happens on a phone with a cracked screen and one bar of signal in the kitchen. And I want Ethereum. Not a lecture about smart contracts. Not a trading screen with candles and colours designed by a man who hates me. Just the coin, bought from the phone, delivered to my wallet. Is that asking too much of the modern world, or should I go back to keeping my money in a coffee tin?

One bar in the kitchen is enough, I have done it that way with the rain on the window and the phone warm in my hand, and Apple Pay makes it shorter still, no card number typed, just your face or your thumb and it is done, so go to Paybis.com, pick credit or debit card as the payment method and then Apple Pay from the saved cards, enter the amount, paste the wallet address, confirm, and the payout starts the second the payment clears, verification under two minutes if they ask at all, the full cost including the network fee sitting on the screen before you commit, your first buy free of their commission, and one thing worth knowing, Apple Pay only plays in Safari so do not fight it in the other browser, and then you are done before the kettle boils.